Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Scared you will be
So Pie and I are steaming up to parenthood at an alarming rate with our trip to China booked to start next week. I was initially stressed about the thoughts of parenthood, but they’ve been overtaken by the stress of going to a country where people don’t speak English (and we don’t speak Mandarin) and the rapidly out of control bill. Luckily we have a guide and a driver most of the time so that takes some of the stress.
It’s funny the mind movies that play in my head with the kidlet either accepting us or rejecting us. We’ve been told to plan for the worst and be happy if something better happens. He’s very bonded to his foster mother so he’s likely to grieve very heavily and may hold it against us for a while. But given time I’m sure he’ll come to love both of us and we’ll build a relationship.
The funny thing about adopting a kid is it’s like being introduced to a stranger and told he’s got to be your best friend. You don’t know them nor their likes or dislikes (and initially can’t even really communicate), but within a period you’ve got to learn to love each other. Add that I have very little experience with kids other then very occasional interaction with my nieces and Pie’s friends daughter (who could just about make someone suicidal smile).
But we’re at least ready from a house perspective even if damn near broke us doing it. The accursed retiling of the fireplace is now done, probably in time for Xander to come back and lob something at it and break them, well at least I can fix it now I guess.
I probably had my last session (at least for a while) with Dave/The Beanie Shavers recording the bassline for his song Wicked World. I ordered some flatwound strings for my violin bass but they never turned up so I cancelled the order and got them from somewhere else. Of course when they turned up they didn’t fit so I’m begging a couple of the guitar shops to see if they’ll swap them for a set that will fit.
My coverage at work has pretty much taken over for me so I’m doing a lot of thumb twiddling until next week when I leave, which isn’t a bad thing other then I feel I should be doing something for my pay.
Jeff and I saw New Model Army in Seattle on Sunday. I really enjoyed it being spitting distance from them as in the UK Europe they play huge shows and in the US they tend to do club gigs. Of all the bands I’ve listened to over the years NMA probably has had the most profound affect on my playing and writing. When I got my Fender Jazz bass 15 years ago Paul (lead singer of Tammuz) remarked that it gave me the New Model Army sound (as a good thing). The other exciting news is the original/classic Killing Joke lineup have reformed and will be touring and putting a new album out later this year, probably not coming to the US though (assuming they don’t kill each other first).
Here are some pieces of Rob wisdom, styled after some other lists I’ve seen:
1 – Treat everyone you meet with courtesy and respect (which doesn’t mean you have to like them). Pie and I used to live above some Gangsta types who were alleged to be selling Crack but I’d always say hi and shake their hands when I saw them
2 – Never underestimate anyone, they’ll kick your ass (literally or otherwise) every time without fail. Can’t tell you how many times this has happened to me.
3 – Have the capacity to love endlessly, and tell those you do how you feel about them regularly.
4 – Never be in a hurry to get anywhere, slow down and enjoy the ride (unless you’re driving an ambulance that is)
5 – When arguing with a zealot don’t use rhetoric, use undeniable logic and reason.
6 – Art and music can save peoples lives
7 – Follow your passions, even if it’s for a few minutes a day
8 – Work is good for the soul, but a job you hate can make you want to kill yourself
9 – Money doesn’t buy happiness but it buys a lot of peace of mind
10 – Tomorrow comes very fast, don’t procrastinate
spoke Rob at at 1.20pm | permalink | 2 comments
Friday, February 28, 2008
A Friday too far
With the adoption closing in it seems like we have 20 projects going on at home. Pie finally got me to restart re-tiling the fireplace last week, and in my usual experience with our house I found everything is below spec and done badly. When I chipped the old tiles out I discovered they were attached directly to drywall instead of the concrete backer-board which is what is mostly used. I can’t even cut the drywall out because the mantel covers so much of it, so my conclusion was it’s been below spec for 20 years, another few won’t hurt.
The house kind of looks like a demilitarized zone at present with two of the rooms either being painted, stuff pulled out of closets to be gone through and boxes of furniture everywhere ready to be assembled. This weekend we’re moving Pie’s study downstairs and then straight to getting her old room converted into the kidlets bedroom. I’ve said to Pie we should try and time 2 -3 weeks at the end of this doing nothing but be hedonistic before we go get the kid. After that it’s be a good 16 years of acting responsibly (and another 40 before we can wear diapers and throw tantrums in the supermarket when we don’t get our way).
Pie let me buy a violin bass last week which I’ve wanted for about 15 years. I had a no-name vintage fixer-upper Japanese one last year but it turned out to be too badly damaged to bring back (no controls, the truss rod snapped off when the tech I use tried to adjust it and only one pickup worked). This one is the Rogue VB100 Series 2 which I think is Musicians Friends own brand model. For $200 it was really great quality sound and looks and does the thumpy Hofner thing really well. It’s funny that the Hofner retails for a lot more and sounds about the same from what’s I’ve read. It’s only because Paul McCartney played one (which he got because it was cheap), that they became as desirable as they did. I actually recorded the bass line to ‘Monty’ the song I wrote about my Dad with it, and was pleased with how woody sounding the tone was. I may use it in PW a little but I’d have to figure out on which songs.
Pie, Jeff and myself are going to see the New York Dolls on Sunday, hopefully none of them will OD between now and then.
spoke Rob at at 4.35pm | permalink | 0 comments
Friday, February 08, 2008
The devil you know….cause he’s your mothers, brother cousin twice removed or something
What really bites about growing older is your body not being as forgiving as it used to be. When I was in my teens and through my twenties I could eat and drink whatever I wanted virtually without consequence. Now I’m in my mid thirties I have to worry about cholesterol and my weight a lot more. My father had heart problems mainly caused by heavy smoking and a high fat diet but it makes you a little paranoid. My cholesterol was a little high when I had my physical done a few weeks back and my doctor was making noises about putting me on something to lower it if I couldn’t do it with diet.
So with the primaries in full swing we get to see who our candidates will be but this stage it looks like John McCain for the Elephants and Clinton or Obama for the Donkeys. I’m going to try and go to the Democratic caucus in Federal Way tomorrow so I feel like I made a difference.
I co-wrote a song Dave from the Beanie Shavers about my Dad and kind of feel I’ve turned a corner on the grieving process since. There were some times when I was so depressed it became kind of crippling. Now I’m just back to being plain old exhausted. It was really important to me that they really did him justice and I liked what Dave wrote to the lyrics so I’ll probably keep it stripped back and acoustic and leave him to sing it.. After I lost my Dad I had a writers block for two months which seemed to end once I’d finished writing these.
Monty
V1
All I could do was say goodbye
While there was still some time
Wishing I could have told you
The contents of this heart of mine
Your blood flowing in my veins
Knowing with all my heart
That not even death itself
Could tear our bonds apart
CH
And the mountain stands
Proud for all to see
But one day even the rain
Will wash it all away
V2
Woke up and you were there
Holding my hand so tight
Telling me without words
It was going to be all right
Gone but always in my mind
God knows I miss you everyday
Only wishing I could tell you
I love you more then words can say
In happier news I’m going to see both The New York Dolls and New Model Army in the next couple of months assuming we don’t go to China. We’re still plodding through stuff at home to get ready for a toddler.spoke Rob at at 4.45pm | permalink | 1 comment
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Happy New Year, now beat me you handsome devil
So Pie, Jeff and I went to The Vogue at Neighbors for New Years Eve. The Vogue was a Seattle club which had fetish nights and played industrial music and Neighbors is popular gay club, so I have to admit I was a little intimidated going there and was expecting Jeff to look like a cat on a hot tin roof all night (Pie is a kinky creature so I wasn’t worried about her).
In the actuality it wasn’t quiet as out there as you’d expect. There were some people dressed up a little kinkily but for the most part people weren’t dressed any differently then you’d see at a regular rock club. In fact some people looked like they’d gone out for Halloween (tell me how is a pirate costume fetish?), but I generally felt pretty at ease and there was a mellow vibe to the place. Even Jeff enjoyed himself as there was plenty of women for him to ogle at, several of which were dressed skimpily or exotically. Pie and I actually made noises about going back as they have the same club elsewhere.
For a special New Years treat Pie and got to sit in my car in the parking lot of where she works so she could do some updates for one of her customers. She tried to talk me out of coming but I wasn’t happy with letting her sitting by herself at 2am in an area rife with crime and prostitution, you can call me old fashioned if you like.
While I have it in mind in late November I was driving the vanpool to work in heavy rain, and while overtaking a fuel truck the trailer hit a rock (or something large and heavy) and it got whipped into the side of the van and blew out the side window. For the first instant I just thought I got a rock ding until I turned around and saw the window missing. Luckily we were right by the vanpool maintenance office so I jumped off the freeway to stop the rest of the window falling out and swapped the van out with one which had more windows.
The Vietnamese guy who was sitting next to the window was lucky, if the rock had hit any harder, we’d have been spoon feeding him apple sauce for the rest of his life. I know Asian people have a reputation of being rush-rush, which is funny as when I started pulling off the freeway one of the Vietnamese people started getting their knickers in a twist and couldn’t understand why I was slowing their progress to work. Luckily in the end we all agreed it was better we didn’t dump a bunch of sharp glass in the progress of traffic on wet roads going at 60mph. If only the UN could reach agreement so quickly.spoke Rob at at 9.00pm | permalink | 0 comments
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Favorite Spinal Tap moments
On the request of a friend/coworker I’ve decided to immortalize some of my favorite Spinal Tap moments from being in bands for the last 17 years:
1) The guitarist from Cries of Tammuz dropping acid and driving the band from Leeds to London hallucinating he was driving a train on tracks
2)The lead singer of Tammuz attempting to do a dramatic stomp out of rehearsal catching his foot on a mic cord and doing a hard face plant
3)Tammuz playing a show in Birmingham, where the lead singer of the support act threatened to cave our van window in with a 2-by-4, and our guitarist John calmly walking past and saying “I know you aren’t going to do that because I’d have to fucking kill you”. This was shortly followed by a weedy goth dropping aforementioned piece of wood and skulking back to his car and whimpering.
4)The hellish trip Painted Window took to Spokane where the bus at last count broke down 12 times (including fuel recycle hose combusting/fuel tanks not switching/being unable to fill the working gas tank and the fuel line breaking)
5)Playing Nottingham Rock City with Tammuz and trying to throw my hair forward at the start of a song, at the same time the singer decided to do an impression of Jesus on the cross, and correspondingly smashing my nose into his arm
6)Passing out drunk in the front room of the writer Storm Constantine’s house after a show and worrying if I’d been used in any pagan rituals while unconscious
7)The drummer from Tammuz screwing up his intro to a song at the Marquee Club and loudly saying ‘Shit’, which got caught by the overhead mic for all the crowd to hear
8)Jeff saying to the Painted Window's drummer Scott with perfect comedic timing and innocence at practice “Wait you actually play drums?”
9)Painted Window playing a show in Orting where we discovered the promoter had decided to have an all ages drinking show
10)The whole rolling mess which has been or still is Painted Window which is proof the white trash shouldn’t breed.spoke Rob at at 8.00pm | permalink | 0 comments
Friday, December 21, 2007
Let’s not forget about the 200lb Gorilla in the room wearing the Santa hat
So as Pie touched on a couple of blog entries ago I lost my Dad about a month ago. It all happened in such a rush from him being injured to the end, but once I saw him in the hospital my immediate thought was the kindest thing would be for him to pass quickly which is what happened in the event. I barely recognized him he was so battered and frail looking. It was almost like seeing a mannequin which had been made to look like him. But in a certain other way I thought he looked at peace and beautiful, even though I was worried I was distressing him when I was saying goodbye. I’m really glad my brother was around to take care of everything, I kind of got the impression he and my Mum wanted to insulate me from it as much as possible.
Growing up parents seem immortal, and seeing him begin to get mentally and physically frail was very hard, then again I’m sure it was hard for him as well. For all the things you could say about him there was no doubt he loved us all and he will always be a huge influence on who I am. I’ll love and miss him until the day we (hopefully) meet again.
The night he died I had a waking dream/other experience where I woke up in my hotel and felt him holding my right hand and telling me wordlessly it was all going to be OK and not to worry. I can’t tell you for certain it was him, but I’d like to think it was and I found it very comforting. An interesting post script to this is my brother had exactly same experience two weeks later. I was curious if the right hand had significance as my Dad had a stroke down his left side in the hospital. or just my brother and I are both right handed. Either way it was something I’ll always be glad that happened and have no interest in debating whether it was real or not.
We got to bury the old man on the following Sunday which was probably hardest for my brother. I was so deathly cold (I only have a light summer suit) that it kind of distracted away from the emotional aspect of the situation. I learned that my grandmother and two of my great aunts are buried at the same cemetery so if I go back to lay flowers for him I can spot their graves as well.
So on a happier note Pie and I found a little boy in China who we’re intending to adopt. Things are looking fairly positive that we’ll get him and pick him up a few short months. It’s going to be a hard transition for all of us but I remain optimistic that he’ll adapt pretty quickly. I vacillate between having daydreams of him being happy and respectful to him being in the screaming ‘I never asked to be born’ mode until he goes to college (at which point he’ll call and scream at us, but never often enough). Pie already thinks he’s the cutest baby in the world (not that she’s biased you understand). We’ve actually talked about adopting a little girl about a year after this depending on how things go. I read this really moving article about a little girl in a orphanage who was dressing up neatly and combing her hair to make herself look prettier to the people coming into adopt babies. It really made me want to go and get another kid.
My brother and sister-in-law are expecting number three any day now. I hope it’ll be a boy so he can use my Dad’s name somewhere and he already has two little girls, I think he’s been punished enough for being a chauvinist when he was younger.
I’m not sure what will happen with my music once the baby comes along. My original plan was to drop my studio project (which I only do every 2 -3 weeks anyway) and try and do PW as I can. I’m beginning to think it would make more sense to do the opposite and try and make more of a go if with the Beanie Shavers, as Dave is a lot more sensible of a person and I wouldn’t need to worry about trying to extract money from the other gomers in PW. I’m still mulling on it.
Jeff and I went to see Queens of the Stone Age at the Paramount in Seattle on Tuesday. It was a great show and definitely the best I’ve seen them play since I’ve been a fan. As a special treat when Jeff and I were walking around the side of the venue to get in we saw the lead singer Josh Homme loading in. He actually turned around and we waved at each other. I forgot that I had a camera in my cell phone otherwise I would have asked him to get my picture with him, but then again maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t bug him too much.
Pie and I stayed in Seattle at Hotel Max last weekend and went to see the Nutcracker to boot. I enjoyed the performance but it was fairly hard to keep up with the narrative as there is so much going on. We got their so late on Friday that we didn’t get to do too much other then go for a walk on Saturday after dinner and have an overpriced and crap meal at the Daily Grill.spoke Rob at at 11.15am | permalink | 0 comments
